The 10 Most Common Honks in Bangalore Traffic

The 10 Most Common Honks in Bangalore Traffic

The first thing you notice in Bangalore is the traffic. It is...loud. Everyone is honking their horns. When you slow down, they honk. When they catch up, they honk. When you pass, you honk and then they honk back at you. (See all those cars to the right? They're all honking right now. Seriously.)

I spoke with a couple of the guys here about driving school. He's adamant they do have it. Apparently they don't try to teach drivers how to drive so much as how to survive. One of the two key things you learn is to communicate constantly with your horn. (The other is to ignore anyone else's horn.)

But I started paying attention and I think I've figured out a code to all the horns. I've interpreted here the ten most common beep-honk combinations you hear on the roads in Bangalore. That way when you come, you'll know exactly what people are saying to each other (and sometimes you!).

First, a couple definitions so you're not confused. A beep is a quick toot of the horn. A honk is a long toot of the horn. Think Morse Code. Only louder and with everyone beep-honking at the same time. In Bangalore, "Buraian" would look and sound like this (you can make your name here):

Honk beep beep beep - beep beep honk - beep honk beep - beep honk - beep beep - beep honk - honk beep

I hear traffic honking this very sequence everywhere I go. They love me here.

The Ten Most Common Honks In Bangalore Traffic

10. Honk Beep -- "You'd better go or it's your rear end. Thanks." This is used by autos and cars approaching a light that just turned green. The beep kind of acts like an, "Okay, you're going, but pick it up quickly, mister." My auto driver on the first day, Kay Kay, liked this one.

9. Doodly doodly -- "I have an SUV so you'll move out of my way even though my horn is kind of weenie." I've heard a few SUV horns that sounded like that. Honestly I feel the same way I felt when I first heard Mike Tyson's voice: "He...sounds like that?"

8. Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep -- "I'm going around a bend in the road and I can't see you so you'd better hear this horn 'cause I don't want to have to explain to my company the damage to the car!" Yes, this is my company's driver, Saif. And yes, I honestly do believe he's more worried about the car than the people crossing the road.

7. HONK HOOOONK -- "Damn it I've been trying to pass you for over 3 seconds now get the hell out of my way!" Saif is the only person I've seen use this honk, too. He holds the second honk for the duration of the pass. Sometimes he even throws in a glare. The man gets his money's worth.

6. Honk Honk -- "I'm flying down the road and there's nobody around me, yippee!" And you think I'm kidding.

5. Beep Honk -- "Hey man, let me out of this driveway. Hey Man! Let me out of this driveway!" This always starts out as an innocent beep but when the guy in the road moves up immediately to keep the guy in the driveway from getting any space on the road it quickly turns into the Beep Honk.

4. Beep -- "Let's go." It's usually used when a light has turned green but 800 cars have to move before the car in front of you can go. Auto drivers love to do this.

3. Beep Beep Beep -- "I'm driving straight into this intersection without looking so please don't slam into me." I cringe when I hear this horn.

2. Honk -- "Watch it, Bro!" This is the horn of choice when the guy next to you starts coming into your area (I say "area" because lanes don't exist here, despite what you see painted on the road). It's generally triggered when someone violates the six-inch rule. (Note: that doesn't stop anyone. Space is meant to be filled.)

And the number one horn you'll hear in Bangalore is...

1. Beep Beep -- "Tower, this is ghostrider, requesting a flyby." It's used by motorbikes, scooters, and autos almost exclusively as they rocket by whatever is in their way. They all think they are Maverick. The response of the car next to them is almost always, "Negative ghostrider, the pattern is full." But you know that doesn't stop Maverick.